Venera kvadrat Pluton – Patološka ljubomora i kontrolisanje u vezi

Venera u Ovnu biće u kvadratu sa opsesivnim i kontrolišućim Plutonom u Jarcu, a najviše će ga osetiti oni koji ovaj aspekt imaju natalno.

Normalna ljubomora kod koje objektivno postoji rival na koga je neko ljubomoran, pojavljuje se kao realan strah od gubitka partnera i potreba da se to spreči.

Sumanuta ljubomora je ispunjena mržnjom i zavišću prema partneru, iako objektivno ne postoji rival.

Sumnjičavost u vezi sa seksualnom vernošću partnera prisutna je kod paranoidnog poremećaja ličnosti koji se češće sreće kod nesigurnih muškaraca (najviše kod alkoholičara).

U ovakvom sumnjičenju ima daleko više mržnje nego ljubavi, ne samo prema rivalu (muškarcu), već i prema ženi.

Da je u pitanju bazična mržnja, a ne ljubav prema ženi vidi se po tome što njen partner počinje da je obezvređuje i uništava, ne samo kao seksualno biće, već i kao ličnost. Ta potreba za uništavanjem i obezvređivanjem postoji zapravo od početka i taj dijadni odnos je kasnije proširen na nove objekte – rivale.

U osnovi toga je mržnja prema ženi, koja je u početku bila voljena i idealizovana i na koju je partner počeo previše emocionalno da se oslanja.

Kako su njegova patološka potreba i vezanost za ženu postajali sve dublji (pri čemu se aktiviraju infantilni strahovi iz odnosa sa majkom) i tako raste i njegovo osećanje inferiornosti u odnosu na ženu i zajedno sa tim mržnja i zavist.

On nesvesno oseća da zavisi od nje, odnosno da ona može bez njega, ali da on ne može bez nje.

Kad se javi zavist, javi se i misao da ona može želeti nekog drugog-boljeg, jačeg, muževnijeg, jer on sam joj tako inferioran ne može biti dovoljan. Onda on prelazi na traganje za rivalima i neispoljena mržnja prema ženi premešta se i ispoljava na rivalima.

“Naknadna” mržnja prema ženi dobija opravdanje u njenim neverstvima. To izgleda kao ljubomora, jer se on plaši da ona ne ode sa drugim.

Mržnja prema rivalima nije stvarno doživljena, već je konstruisana (kao što su i rivali konstruisani), da bi se raspršila suviše intenzivna i nepodnošljiva ambivalencija prema ženi.

Zavist i mržnja prema ženi uspevaju da prevladaju primarnu ljubav prema njoj, tako da ona na kraju, u njegovim očima postaje potpuno obezvređena.

Izmišljanje njenih ljubavnika ima cilj da opravda tu primarnu mržnju iz zavisti.

Zahtevi ljubomorne ličnosti su, uostalom, sami po sebi uzaludni jer su neostvarivi.

Niko nas i ništa ne može uveriti da smo voljeni, ako osećamo da to nismo.

Ljubomorna osoba ne veruje da je voljena, jer ne voli samu sebe.

To je suština, a bazično poverenje u ljude se stvara još u detinjstvu.

Sve dok sebe ne zavolimo, nećemo poverovati ni da nas drugi mogu voleti.

eksplozija

Venus square Pluto – pathological jealousy, violence and control in the relationship

Venus in Aries will square Pluto in Capricorn, and it will be felt the most by those who have this as their natal aspect.

Normal jealousy with the objective existence of a rival of whom one is jealous appears as a real fear of losing one’s partners and the need to prevent it.

Delusional jealousy is filled with hatred and envy toward the partner, although there is no objective rival.

Suspiciousness regarding the sexual fidelity of partners present is present in paranoid personality disorder, which is more commonly seen in insecure men (mostly alcoholics). Such suspicions bear far more hatred than love, not only towards rival (man), but also towards the woman.

It can be seen that present here is basic hatred rather than love for a woman by the fact that her partner starts to devaluate and destroy her, not only as a sexual being, but also as a person. This need for destruction and devaluation actually exists from the beginning and this dyadic relationship later becomes expanded to new objects – rivals.

In essence, this is hatred towards the woman who was initially loved and idealized, but whom the partner started to rely on in much too emotional way. He unconsciously feels dependant on her, i.e. his interpretation of the relationship is that she can go on without him, but he cannot go on without her.

When envy appears, it also brings the thought that she might want someone else – better, stronger, more masculine because in his inferiority he cannot be enough for her. After that he starts his search for rivals and the non-manifested hatred for the woman is transferred and exerted on rivals.

“Subsequent” hatred towards the woman receives an excuse in her infidelities. This looks like jealousy, because he fears that she will go with another man.

Hatred of rivals is not actually experienced, but is constructed (such as the rivals are constructed) in order to dissipate much too intense and unbearable ambivalence towards the woman.

Envy and hatred towards the woman manage to overcome the primary love for her, so that in the end in his eyes she becomes totally devaluated.

Inventing her lovers aims to justify this primary hatred born out of envy.

Demands of a jealous person are after all inherently futile because they are unattainable. No one and nothing can assure us that we are loved if we feel that we are not. Jealous person does not believe that she is loved, because she does not love herself.

This is the essence of things, and basic trust in people is formed in childhood. As long as we do not start loving ourselves, we will not believe that others can love us.